The Foreign Fourth of July
“Holding the Line” on the Battlefield of Everyday Obedience
It’s another one of those days that just produces a deep ache inside. Far from your homeland, far from familiarity, far from your fellow-countrymen, and far from your family. In the logical part of my brain I strongly sense that the passing of this day in another country shouldn’t be a big deal. Aren’t family BBQs and fireworks trivial things in the grand scheme? Logically, yes.
But in divine wisdom, God created us emotional beings too. And today seems to bring a torrent of emotions. These are extremely confusing. I have a deep sense of loss, knowing that my little boy won’t get to play baseball with his uncles today and that my little girl won’t get to watch fireworks sitting on Grandma’s lap. We don’t get to have breakfast with the aunts and uncles on the farm, next to the growing, vibrant green corn. We won’t join the masses watching fireworks, sharing some unwritten bond of patriotism and blessing with strangers and friends alike. I have a deep sense of gratitude. I look back at the last year and see blessing after blessing of provision from God’s hand. A way was made in seemingly impossible situations. I have a sense of despair. I grieve in the sacrifice we’re making, and I strongly long to see the fruit of it. Questions of why He brought us here abound in my mind. What do we really have to offer in this stage of life? We struggle with basic things like everyone else. Yes, we see the immense need around us and I sense the darkness, but how can we possibly hope to make a difference at all? Our progress in learning and growing feels so slow. This is uncomfortable. It is something quite difficult to explain to those we left behind. I want to show the difference our sacrifice has made. But, I can’t. I (somewhat angrily) ask God, “How does us being here make any difference at all?”
And it quickly dawns on me - the likelihood that Jesus asked His Father that question many times in those first 30 years on earth. As far as we know, he led a normal, quiet life. Was he less pleasing to His Father during those years of quiet obedience than when He was sacrificing His own life on the cross? No. Was His faith continually tested during all those years? He was carrying with HIm the memory of the splendor of Heaven and the warmth of His Father’s presence, all the while facing everyday life in a broken world. We see the cross as sacrifice. But, leaving heaven and Father for 33 years of life on this broken planet? That is a long sacrifice. And a long time without any great stories to tell.
The same message has come a million ways this year. I build the altar, but He provides the fire. I am not accountable for results, I am accountable to obey. I am first a worshipper. He looks at the heart, not at the stories or seen progress.
Somehow two songs collided for me today. Most people would probably categorize them as miles apart, but they came together vividly and perhaps not coincidentally.
Crossbows and arrows, the smoke in the shadows
You'll lose your mind standing on the battle line
Starting to choke on your heart in your throat and
It feels just like you can't remember how to fight
We'll crack before we shatter
We can't fall apart
We don't get to die young
Trouble keeping our head sometimes
We just have to push on
We don't get to give up this life
All the breath in your lungs
Is stronger than the tears in your eyes
It's do or die, but we're alive
And while we're here, we'll hold the line
Don't hold your hands up, it's your final stand
Put your white flag down, oh don't you surrender now
No hero's story, there's no blaze of glory
But dawn only comes at the end of the night
[from “Hold the Line” - Avicii ft. A R I Z O N A]*
- - - - - -
If we only knew
How deep the ocean of Your love
How powerful every drop of blood
How much it cost to rescue us
If we only knew
How far the East is from the West
How we are clothed in righteousness
How strong the hands that conquered death
If we only knew
We are only scratching the surface
We are barely knocking on the door
We are only scratching the surface of Your goodness
We are barely knocking on the door
And You long to show us more
[from “If We Only Knew” - Unspoken]
Maybe He’s not asking me to do something amazing today. Maybe He’s not asking me to create an awe-inspiring story worth telling. Maybe He’s just asking me to “hold the line.” And how does one “hold the line” when you’re in the thick of it and you can’t see through the haze of all that’s around you? When things cease to make logical sense? You must repeat to your own soul over and over again - the incomprehensibility of the power of every drop of blood. He rescued me. He conquered death. I can hold the line. I must.
Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. - [Hebrews 12:1-3 ESV]
For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. - [Galatians 6:8-9 ESV]
*I realize some may find this song depressing and morbid. However, I think I’m probably not the only (perhaps melancholy) soul who it connects with. I find solace in knowing we have predecessors; I think even stronger words have come from Jeremiah, David, Elijah, Job, and Paul. However, all of these found hope and strength to “hold the line.” The significant and sad reality is that this song was part of an album released after the young death (likely suicide) of the artist. I resonate with the struggles of personality and pressure he dealt with (and which he made public).
So, I have to ask myself the haunting question; What if Tim (Avicii) would have met Jesus? What if he would have known the power of every drop of blood?
So, tell me….
How is God calling you to "hold the line" in obedience right now?
How can we encourage each other to run with perseverance, both in the mundane and exciting times?