As Iron Sharpens Iron….Growing from Relationships
Photo by Becca Tapert via Unsplash
Many years back I took the Gallup’s SrengthsFinder test and the results were concerning to my coach (Brandon Jones, who serves at the Cape Town hub). I worked with people, yet I did not have relational strength as my top five strengths. However, in my top five I had Restorative and Responsibility. My coach said these were super strengths. I believe these two have played a big role in my ministry working with people in addiction.
I have often struggled relating to people. I grew up in a family that is very task oriented. I have been called blunt and have unknowingly hurt people along the way. I learned about emotional and social intelligence in counseling class. These were also modeled by Julianna Jones, currently serving at the Cape Town hub. She and her family lived and served in Kenya from 2014-2018. I received discipleship from her. I met her at a dark season in my life. Julianna is very relational and empathetic.
I love how she has related to me over the years and how our relationship has changed over time. Alice, with Kampala hub, has taught me a lot about relationships. I met her in 2019 when she sought me out at Kampala. At first I was terrible to her. I learned if I didn’t say good night I was hurting her. I learned I had to engage in pleasantries before I dove into the meat of conversation. Alice has taught me to be patient and actually care for the well-being of the person I am talking to.
I admire Alice. I am jealous of how easily she makes friends and find myself wishing I was like her. At those times, however, Psalms 139 has been a light unto my feet, reminding me how precious I truly am. I am not “relational” but I am very strategic and objective in situations where most people are not. I am able to find solutions that others cannot see. These strengths are what I bring to relationships. The truth is, “I am fearfully and wonderfully made and this my soul knows very well”.
Last month, I was challenged listening to people speak about Floyd. How he loved, saw, challenged and opened opportunities for people, I yearned to love people like he did. While I know I will never be like Floyd, Julianna, Alice or anyone else for that matter, I do desire to love others as Christ did.
Learning is also one of my top five strengths. I learned so much watching Julianna and Alice relate to people. I strive to relate better to people both at work and socially. I have been intentional in pausing to think before I give feedback. Sometimes I remember to wait, but mostly I am a work in progress. I often have to lean on the Holy Spirit to teach me how to speak. I need Him to help me forgive myself when I miss, to ask for forgiveness, and slowly and gently learn, adapt and restore.
I am eternally grateful that Julianna and Alice took a chance to relate to me. My life is richer because of them and I believe their lives are richer because of me.
About the Author: Ruth is passionate about helping facilitate healing for people lost in addiction. Through discipleship and counseling, she has seen many individuals in Kenya and elsewhere in the world find freedom in Christ. She is an All Nations field worker based in Nairobi, Kenya under the Kampala hub. Ruth’s testament of Jesus’s victory in her own journey of healing from addiction can be viewed and purchased at https://amzn.to/2YF9ci0.
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Lessons from the Least, the Last, and the Lost, All Nations Weekly Devotion by Blake Staton, M.Div.
All Nations Pocket Guide to Church Planting by Dr. Pam Arlund (in many languages)
All Nations Storytelling Resource
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