Jesus in the Flames
“If you walk into the fire, I’ll be right there in the flames" has been my heart’s refrain. The first week of this year, John and I were visiting NGOs in Chiangmai, Thailand, when his doctor called to say that John’s colon cancer had returned. The news boomeranged me and threw me off kilter. After four months of chemo, we’ve just been told there is another “suspicious” spot in his lung. I’ve turned down about eight international trips and invitations and cancelled many engagements as we ride this roller coaster. A friend who had walked his spouse through cancer had shared with me, “I scaled everything way down. But what I was unprepared for was that it wasn’t enough. Because I would just sit there at my desk and stare with no energy."
It’s like walking around with a grey damp cloth on your heart. I find that the biggest temptation is to shut down my heart to not feel, to not be in touch with the fears and uncertainties. Yet the song's lyrics continue: “Open your heart . . . your hands . . . your eyelids, I've got more dreams . . . more plans . . . more blessings.”
In the midst of it, I’ve wrestled to keep my heart open to Jesus and others. I just put one foot in front of the other to be faithful to the task in front of me. In the meantime, our workers continue to be trained and sent. Churches are being planted among the unreached. And exciting new fields are opening up. I’m grateful for a global team of coworkers—comrades in arms—who are in place to continue to thrust the Gospel to the least reached.
In a way, the health crisis is a gift. We just launched a new leadership development cohort that is discussing Peter Scazzero’s The Emotionally Healthy Leader. One of his foundational anchors of being a healthy leader is to “slow down for loving union” with Jesus and each other. Not sure I would have chosen to slow down this way. Not sure I like the packaging of this gift.
In the flames, Isaiah 43 has strengthened me, and I hope will strengthen you. Jesus promises us that He is right there in the flames.
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.” (Isaiah 43:1-2)
Blessings,
Mary
Dr. Mary Ho, DSL
All Nations International, Inc. | International Executive Leader
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