No Need to Perform

Pursuing Personal and Relational Wholeness Through Authenticity

Last year, for advent, Caity and I decided to go through the genealogy of Jesus, found in Matthew 1:1-17. The genealogy is split into three parts, so each of the three weeks prior to Christmas we took one part of the genealogy and simply told the stories, starting with Abraham, all the way to Mary and Joseph, the parents of Jesus. When we didn’t know one of the stories, or were missing details, we found it in scripture. After we got through a block of the genealogy, we asked the same three questions we ask when we lead a simple church or a Discovery Bible Study (DBS) group. (What does this story tell us about God? What does this story tell us about ourselves? What are we going to do about it?)

Our biggest takeaway was that, through the course of scripture, Jesus hung out with the same people He hung out with when He was on earth. Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Judah, Moses, Rahab, David, and those who came after, were all cut from the same cloth. They were sinners. They were broken people who did terrible things, even while claiming to follow God. Among those I named, it would be easy to play “10 commandment bingo” and not be sure which one would win the fastest, though all would have a pretty fair shot. One thing we find through the narrative of scripture is that God continually pursues His people, whether they are acting righteously, as the set apart people they were created to be, or not. His love isn’t conditional on our righteousness -- rather our righteousness is conditional on His steadfast love. When Adam and Eve sinned in the garden of Eden, it wasn’t their sin, but rather their shame that hid them from God. In the same way, Jesus continues to pursue those who feel they are unworthy of His love. He has always been close to the broken, the unfaithful, and the unworthy, even as they continue to sin against Him. We find this to be especially true in the stories of those in the line of Jesus, and in the stories of the people of Israel and Judah. As Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners” (Mark 2:17).

But What Does this Have to Do With Personal and Relational Wholeness?

A lot actually. There’s one more thing that each of these Bible “heroes” has in common. We know where they failed. We know their weaknesses, their faults, and their struggles ... sometimes far too intimately for our own comfort. Have you ever stopped to think about the fact that we’re only able to know those things because these people didn’t hide them? They were authentic, and open, even about their worst mistakes. They knew, as children of God, that they didn’t have to hide their broken pieces, and so we find them recorded in scripture. I have always joked about the faces David must be making from heaven as we read his “journal” in the form of the Psalms, but it was actually David who gave those Psalms to the musicians in the temple to be used for worship!

We weren’t given herculean demigods to try to emulate, but rather people who sought the Lord in the midst of their brokenness, and found Him good. In my opinion, this sort of authenticity is the foundation for any sort of healthy relationship with God, ourselves, or other people. So long as we are bowing to shame, guilt, or fear in hiding the imperfect parts of ourselves, and attempting to not let others into those broken places, we will find, like Adam and Eve, that there can be no relationship with God, or each other. In the same way, it is hard to love your neighbor as yourself when you don’t love or accept yourself to begin with.

So How Does It Work?

In Romans 12, we are told that “Love must be sincere” (vs 9). “Sincere” could also be translated as “unhypocritical or unfaked.” Some translations use “genuine.” If we read the following verses (vs 10-21), we find a list of ways to behave to our brother and sisters, giving us an idea of what “sincere” love might look like. It’s easy to gloss over this list, but if we take a moment to look at what Paul is saying, we find that this isn’t merely a list of “shoulds,” or ways to act, but also an acknowledgement that we will have times where we will feel negative emotions, even towards our brothers and sisters in Christ. You can find sadness (vs 15), the desire to do harm (vs 14), apathy (vs 11), impatience (vs 12), hurt (vs 14, 17), revenge (vs 17,19), and pride (vs 16) within the text without even looking too closely.

Paul isn’t saying that we won’t experience negative emotions. He’s saying that when we do, we are to “not become overcome” by our evil desires to react, or to harm, but rather to respond to the evil things that are done to us, with good. Authenticity means acting as who we are rather than what we feel. Does this mean our feelings are irrelevant? Absolutely not! We aren’t told to hide or stuff our emotions, but rather to express them in ways that are constructive, and build each other up, rather than merely reacting based on how we feel. This must be an authentic, humble, and intentional act of love. Our feelings, even, and sometimes especially, negative ones, must be acknowledged, and then offered as part of the “living sacrifice” mentioned in verses 1 and 2. By doing this, our ways of thinking, acting, and even feeling are changed by the renewing of our minds, and the work of the Holy Spirit (vs 3-4). We won’t do this perfectly and it will be messy, but that’s the way God designed it. When we go to each other in humility, and authentically share our struggles, mistakes, and shortcomings, we provide opportunities not only for our own healing, but for the healing of others as well.

We may find, like King David, that those we seek to bless still seek our harm, as did King Saul. David acted rightly before Saul, even when Saul was trying to kill him, and was honest to him, even when his honesty wasn’t what Saul wanted to hear. While Saul disliked, and even hunted David for many years, it was eventually David’s integrity and authenticity that repaired their relationship. In 1 Samuel 24, when David’s mighty men encouraged him to kill Saul as he slept, he instead cut a corner of his robe. “Afterward, David was conscience-stricken for having cut off a corner of his robe. He said to his men, “The Lord forbid that I should do such a thing to my master, the Lord’s anointed, or lay my hand on him; for he is the anointed of the Lord”” (vs 5-6). In fact, David was so “conscience-stricken” that he made himself known before Saul, and confessed to the man who was trying to kill him that he had taken a piece of his robe. This easily could have cost David his life. Instead, his decision to make himself vulnerable repaired his relationship with King Saul, and King David was able to return to his stronghold in peace.

What if it Doesn’t Work Out?

Is authenticity all you need to have healthy relationships with God and others? No. But it’s a good foundation. Will all negative relationships be repaired by making ourselves vulnerable? No. In fact, the other person may strike against you, or take advantage of your openness and hurt you. Like I said before, it’s messy. There isn’t a way around that. John 9 is a perfect example. At the beginning of the chapter, Jesus heals a man who was born blind. The man then goes back to his home, his friends, and his family to tell them of what has happened, despite knowing that “anyone who acknowledged that Jesus was the Messiah would be put out of the synagogue” (vs 22). He is questioned several times by the pharisees, as are his parents. No matter what he is asked, he answers with the truth of what happened, despite the consequences, and in the end he is, indeed, thrown out of the synagogue. Yikes!

Often, when we live authentically, we will rub up against those who are not. The pharisees continually criticized Jesus for hanging out with sinners, and criticized the ways He acted when they didn’t line up with their laws or expectations of what a “godly” person should look like. For the pharisees, it was more important that individuals looked, acted, and performed a certain way as evidence of their godliness. There was no room for the broken, the hurting, or those who had made mistakes. The opposite of authenticity is not hiddenness but rather performance. “We are disciples of Moses!” cried the pharisees. “We know that God spoke to Moses, but as for this fellow (Jesus), we don’t even know where he comes from!” (vs 29). It’s interesting that they, in this instance, chose Moses as their defence. Unlike in other situations, where they claim to be children of Abraham, here they directly appeal to Moses, the one who gave them the law. They weren’t willing, even presented with stark evidence, to admit that perhaps, the Messiah could be among them, because to do so would force them to also admit that they were in the same condition as the blind man had been, rather than continuing to perform. In verse 41, Jesus says to them, “If you were blind, you would not be guilty of sin; but now that you claim you can see, your guilt remains.” When we live an inauthentic life, as the pharisees did, we find ourselves trapped, and without connection to God or others. We may do the right things, say the right things, and even believe the right things, but if we choose to live a life without authenticity “our guilt remains.”

There’s nothing easy about living a life that is both kind and authentic -- one that “speaks the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15). Often, living authentically can and will hurt. Without vulnerability, there cannot, in the end, be love, and love is what we are called to, for God and for others -- even our enemies. It isn’t our job to manage the behavior of others, but to live openly and authentically before God, especially in our weaknesses. When we do, we find that in our weaknesses He is strong. Learning to love God and love others in the midst of our mess, without hiding in caverns of shame, guilt, and fear is difficult, and it’s a huge learning curve. But one thing we can remember as we walk this road towards healthy relationships, navigating our own brokenness, faults, failings, and mistakes, is that Jesus has always hung out with these types of people. We know that in our hardest, most unconfident moments, when all we want to do is hide from Him and from others, He will meet us there, as he has from the very beginning. It isn’t about perfection. It isn’t about doing great things for God. It’s about being who He created you to be. He wants you. Nothing more, nothing less. What steps will you take towards authenticity in your life today?

About the author: All Nations Missionary Keifer Lucchi lives and works in the Czech Republic with his wife and two children, where they reach out to Czech and Roma people, while also working with LGBTQ+ individuals across Europe. Together they run a Czech non-profit, with the aim of bringing hope to neglected people, and are passionate about writing, and telling stories as well as being a part of the stories of others.

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