The Nitty Gritty...

The young man said to Him, “All these I have kept; what am I still lacking?” Jesus said to him, “If you want to be complete, go and sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.”

I have to be honest, I've always loved the young rich ruler. He seemed like the type of man that you would respect, and who was trying to live a life that honored God. Yet, that statement “If you want to be complete..” What an amazing invitation by our Lord, but one that came at a cost.

This is a vulnerable statement for me to make, but this year, I have really wrestled with the cost of discipleship. Having to forgive the hurts by fellow Christians, and the hardships of trying to reach the people around me, while feeling inadequate in my language skills. I began to desire the simple life I used to daydream about when I was younger. I found myself retreating into my mind and daydreaming about the life I would build for myself back in the States. A home, friends for the kids, grocery trips to Aldi, and fellowship with other believers - all in a language I know & can speak... This path can feel stifling at times, nearly suffocating, and I wanted to run away from it all. Yet, the yearning to be complete in Him was strong. The cost sometimes seems too high. And even in the midst of this journey of weighing up my own treasures, the Holy Spirit was there, gently guiding me.

One day out of the blue, we received a message from someone we hadn’t heard from in nearly 5 years. Ken had met this person while living in Kamaishi. She came once to a DBS, and we maybe hung out a handful of times. Right before our first home assignment, we gave her a bike to get around, and never heard from her again… till now! The message was hard to decipher, but in the end, she called me at 7:30 a.m. I could hear the heartbreak in this person's voice, and even though I wasn’t quite awake yet, the Holy Spirit helped me understand that their heart was yearning for unconditional love—the kind of love that no human has the capability to fill. Instead of giving her advice, I listened and asked questions till she said she wanted to know and believe in Jesus. She asked the question How? What do I do? We said a simple prayer, and as she repeated the words, “I need you and only you can fulfill me.” I felt tears in my eyes and chills throughout my body. The minute she said “Amen,” this was her first question: “Will God give me what I desire?” I felt overwhelming compassion and reassured her that she can trust that what our Father has in store for her is better than anything you could want or imagine for yourself. 

As I said this, I felt the Holy Spirit nudge me in my own soul… showing me that, like the young rich ruler,  I too had been holding onto something… one foot in, one foot out… I began to fully believe that I can trust Him with my story. What would have happened, I wondered, if the young rich ruler had said “yes”… where would he be, or more importantly, what would he have done for the Kingdom of our Lord Jesus Christ?

Lord, I say, “Yes”. I am here if You want to use a broken person like myself, both feet in. I will work hard to love those around me and be obedient to Your calling. There is no turning back. All my safety nets & “ships” are burned, and I am looking at the people around me wanting nothing more than to see them fully loved and living out the story that I know You have written for them. I’m willing to be patient, vulnerable, share my God story, and to listen intently/lovingly, doing whatever He asks of me, because He is worth it. He is worth it, because He paid the ultimate cost for us.

About the author: The Komiyas are an All Nations worker family of five who have been with the organization for around ten years now. They have been serving the people of Northern Japan for over seven years.

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