We Are Servant Leaders
Compassion: Not just a parenting tip. It's a lifestyle choice.
I am notorious for having a terrible sense of direction. I always use Google maps, but even then, my kids know to expect that when they go somewhere with me, we’re probably going to miss a train. We’re going to double back. Inevitably, we’re going to go (gasp!) the wrong way! They never expect that with Dad, but that’s another story. The takeaway here is this: I don’t know everything, and I don’t pretend to.
I think it’s important that my kids see me make mistakes. If I do everything perfectly (in their eyes), it sets an impossible standard for them to meet, and for me to maintain. Yes, I want to make my kids feel like they can come to me with questions, knowing I will have an answer. But, more importantly, if I have to apologize to someone, forgive a wrong, show mercy to someone who doesn’t deserve it, or repent, I want my kids to see it. How else will they learn unless they see me actually living out what I teach them?
When I teach my kids anything, I can’t just give them verbal instructions and expect them to do exactly what I want. I will have to demonstrate. I will have to explain it again and again. And once my kids know my expectations, I can’t expect that they will do whatever I’ve asked without grumbling or complaining. And I can’t expect that they won’t make mistakes.
God gave His people verbal instructions. He demonstrated His power and authority. He explained Himself again and again. And still His people grumbled and complained. And still they made mistakes. So, He gave us a servant leader in Jesus Christ. Someone who can sit with us, feel with us, have compassion on us, and show us exactly what to do and how to do it.
Jesus lived on the road. He didn’t have a home. He was healing people, delivering people, and completely dependent on God the Father to provide money, food, and clothes when He needed it! He had to continually teach and devote himself to His followers, not to mention crowds of people. He gave up food, drink, comfort, security, and risked His life. He cared nothing for His own self but everything for people. Even right before feeding the 5,000, the Bible says He was going off to be alone to pray, but then He saw the crowd and had compassion on them. He was tired and hungry, but He kept on serving people.
Jesus was perfect, so His example isn’t something we can attain. But He was human, and I’ve read about Him suffering, mourning, singing, rejoicing, eating with His friends, staying up all night, and getting really angry at injustice. He had big feelings too, just like my kids. But what’s more important is what He did with those feelings.
He chose compassion, even when it led Him to the cross.
As a parent, I am a servant leader. My kids are constantly following my example. Which leads me to ask: What are they learning from me?
If there’s anything I’ve learned in my 6 years and 4 months of parenting, it’s that if I really want my kids to experience the love of Jesus through me, I have to die to self every day. I have to choose a lifestyle of compassion. In John 13, Jesus said, “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” But where does this compassion come from? You can’t just dig it up. It’s a fruit borne out of time and prayer.
I choose compassion when my six-year-old is screaming at me that I’m not being fair.
I choose compassion when my three-year-old is punching his sister.
I choose compassion when I’m being criticized by others, and it would be easier to lash out at them than listen.
I don’t have to live on the road, deny myself food or clothes, or devote myself to crowds of people. I just have to devote myself to loving Jesus. I devote myself to teaching myself and my kids who He is.
I lay on their beds at night while they fall asleep and teach them to ask Him questions and listen for the answer. I pray for them to understand who He is. I worship with them in my living room with scarves and egg shakers. When they’re afraid, I tell them how to give their fear to Jesus. I read the Bible to them and ask them what they think. I show them how to forgive each other when they fight.
It can be exhausting. And that’s okay. Even Jesus got exhausted.
When the kids are at each other’s throats, or when my husband and I disagree, or chaos is settling in our home and I just want a break, I close my eyes and think, Where is Jesus right now?And I wait to see what He shows me before I act.
You’ve reached the next level when, even when everything is peaceful, you look around and think, Where is Jesus right now? And wait to see what He shows you before you act.
I imagine that’s what Jesus did too, when He was on earth. When He was headed to the garden to rest, he saw the crowds, closed his eyes, and said, “God, where are You right now?” And when God smiled back at him from His place within the crowd and threw His arms around the sick and broken people next to Him, Jesus got up and followed.
I don’t know everything, and I don’t pretend to. But I know Jesus, and I know that my kids will know Him by the way I choose compassion.
My question to you is this: What are your followers learning from you?
I’d love to hear from you!
About the author: Calle Ferguson left her home in Oklahoma to serve as a field worker with refugees in Hamburg, Germany, with her husband, Jacob, and two children, Rory and Ian.
Reposted from July 23, 2020
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