Missionary Mothers: Difficult and Different Choices

I don’t know how the editors chose these stories, but they are extraordinary. Although they are shared by Australian missionary women worldwide, they are pan-cultural. Any missionary mother serving anywhere can identify with them.

These stories represent a broad span of ages and experiences from different agencies to different locations. Even with so many variables, you get an odd sense of familiarity as you read. These women love the Lord and their families; they want to do right and provide their children the best care and protection. They want to be “good” wives and support their husbands. They ardently long for the Kingdom of God to advance. Their choices are painfully difficult as they search for the right “formula” in marriage, mothering, and mission.

Some women chose to be stay-at-home mums, home-schooling and supporting their husbands in ministry. Others chose to be fully engaged in ministry, seeking help in the care and schooling of their children. No matter how they spanned the marriage, mothering, and ministry continuum, there was cost involved. Balance was hard won, and it seemed that some areas always suffered.

Many women wrestled with God to come to a place of peace. Issues of childbirth, children’s schooling, language learning, frequent moves and transitions, and their degree of ministry involvement were quite difficult. There was no one-size-fits-all, even within the family. Grief, anger, burnout, depression, and PTSD inhabited the space of many of these families, but they also revealed exceptional growth, healing, and the joy of obedience.

As Dr. Pam Arlund mentioned in our discussion, these mothers represent the struggle many missionaries face—integrating a theology of suffering with a theology of God’s goodness. Why did God allow some of these tragic situations to those who had given their lives to serve Him? Was He good? Did He love them? Some stories had “happy” endings, and some did not, but God was sovereign and trustworthy.

The stories reminded me of my own missionary mothering—the joys, sorrows, failures, and surrenderings. We lived in an arid, scorching part of West Africa. Our middle son hated to sit for school with a wet bandana as sweat dripped off his elbows onto his papers. Another missionary, who had never lived in that context, asked me if I had had any art shows or music recitals with the children. “Shows and recitals?” I thought. I couldn’t even get my son to come to school! Still, I was judged by nationals and missionaries alike when we sent him to boarding school.

These mums faced internal self-criticism as well as judgmental opinions from the nationals, the other missionaries, their families back “home,” and even their organizations. They had very few safe people or places to tell their stories; their vulnerable writing is a gift to us.

For the joy is well titled. I read it with tears and laughter (for there was humor in many of the stories). I hope you will read it for yourself and to better understand your missionary wife and mother.

Here are some of our commitments:

I will listen attentively and encourage and support mums in mission work.
I will care for my family as I care for the work the Lord has given me; they are both entrusted to me.
I will forgive myself for my mistakes and trust God with my children.

Chan, M. and S. Russell, eds. 2019. For the joy: 21 missionary mother stories of real life & faith. Littleton, CO: William Carey Publishing.

About the Author: Lisa Sinclair and her husband served in Mali, West Africa for 10 years. She is a nurse practitioner, author of Restored Paths: Sexuality for Christian Leaders, and loves to read!

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