Sin's Greatest Ally & Its Greatest Enemy

A Story of Shame Met with the Power of Grace

Shame.  The word itself bears weight just hearing it. For some reason it even feels sickening to say.  A word that I have been processing more and more over the past year as I have continued to meet with people in our congregation as they navigate everything in their life from failing marriages to past traumas and uncertain identities.  What is often presented to us as an objective problems which can seemingly have immediate responses- are sadly rooted in something much deeper.  Much like taking a part a car piece by piece to discover what is making the uncertain noise is how all of us exist in our broken sinful bodies.  Deep within our hearts lies a battle.  One side of the battle field is comprised of the Holy Spirit longing to reveal our identity to us.  The true, original, and perfect display of God himself.  Imago Dei; the image of God.  Across the field is the other combatant is the slimy, nasty, and wicked animal who sole intent is to disrupt the message from the Spirit…the beast known as sin.

And the beast has a friend.  An ally he uses very strategically.  It’s an ally which is used as a weapon against us, but sadly we are often not aware of it; much less capable of dealing with it.  It’s a silent destroyer who infiltrates the heart and mind and causes to us question the proclamation of the Holy Spirit.  It slowly and methodically works its way through our being like a spiritual cancer disrupting any message it deems as a threat to its ultimate mission.  I’m speaking of course of shame.  Sin’s great ally… and longest standing.

We meet sin’s co-laborer almost immediately in scripture.  In Genesis 3, the serpent is lurking in the Garden while putting together his ultimate scheme of turning mankind against his creator- God himself.  A simple lie turns an otherwise straightforward notion in life into tragedy.  As Adam and Eve consider whether to eat the fruit from the forbidden tree the crafty snake finds his perfect moment of attack.  “You won’t die…God know that your eyes will be opened as soon as you eat it, and you will be like God, knowing both good and evil”, he tells them.  This clever but nasty lie opens the portal for the greatest tragedy known to human beings, the fall of man.

It's what comes IMMEDIATELY after that has intrigued me most though.  For as we know, once Adam and Eve consumed the first forbidden bite of fruit from that forbidden tree there is an instantaneous effect felt deep within their core which will forever change their reality…and to this day ours as well.

“At that moment, their eyes were opened, and they felt shame at their nakedness.” (Gen 3:7)

The very first effect sin had on the world was shame.  This effect went to very central core of mankind by attacking its single most important thing assigned by the creator- our identity.  It’s not until a few verses later do we discover the punishments God gives the man and woman.  But these punishments are pale in comparison to the power this single word does to mankind.

I’m convinced more than ever at the power of shame.  I see it in my own life and in others constantly.  The faceless enemy has a presence thicker than the fog sitting over the San Francisco Bay every morning.  It currently is disrupting relationships all over the world.  It’s in the mind of the teenager cutting their arms.  It’s in the mind of the man struggling with sexual addiction.  It’s in the mind of the child wishing he had more time with his parents.  And it’s in the mind of refugees escaping to a new life.  To measure the effects of sin’s greatest weapon is simply too great a task to calculate.  No ruler or measuring device is capable of such documentation.  It never stops working and it never stops advancing.

But what perhaps is most profound of all to me is its simplicity.  Despite the wide-ranging effects shame has throughout our world the game plan could not be more simplistic.  Shame has a very concise and understandable mission which is to attack the message we are created in the image of God and made to be in relationship with him.  Shame is a tool of sin used by the enemy to separate us from the healing and redemptive power of embracing the goodness of God we were created for.  Essentially, shame repeats the exact same line in every situation to all people- “you are not good enough and you deserve this.”  This simple approach has led to an entire history of human failure and brokenness that seems to have no end to its tyrannical rule…

…but it has an enemy.  God does allow sin and shame have full reign.  He has a weapon of his own.  A weapon that looks straight into the eyes of shame and expels it from our inner beings.  It’s the weapon of grace.  But unlike faceless shame, grace does have a visible image.  It the most beautiful image that exists.  In fact, the image has a face.  It has a body that can be embraced.  The image is human and divine.

Jesus.  The very face of grace itself.  And as it turns out he is the only one who not only battles sin and shame… but defeats them and calls us into the restorative hope that is found in embracing our original identity- the image of God.

I recently saw the power of shame and the unwavering force of grace and forgiveness on display this past month in Kampala, Uganda.  What follows is a story only God can write.  It must be.  Because only God could combat the fiercest amount of shame I have ever seen in my life and bring it to restoration.

Hidden in Plain Sight

Wednesday, January 17th, 2024.  It was another busy day for our American team in Kampala, Uganda. We woke again to the bustling noise of over a million boda-bodas and cars driving through the swiss cheese roads that make up most of the city’s infrastructure.  Our team had come to visit partners and see the work God had been doing through them and others.  We’ve been partnering with All Nations for over two years now and have been directly supporting the work in Uganda being done by Wilson Namuwoza and his network of leaders spread across the city and country.  I’ve had the pleasure of traversing the city with Wilson before in the previous year as he led a group of us to visit church plants in the ghettos.

I travel a lot throughout all areas of the world.  In all of it, I have been exposed to many things both uplifting and soul wrenching. I’ve watched Ukrainian refugees walk across the Hungarian border in freezing temperatures, and I’ve met former ISIS members who shared how they came to profess Jesus while on mission to kill a pastor.  I’ve talked with Syrian refugees whose home was bombed by rebel groups, and I’ve also met people in my own city who have turned their life as immigrants into prosperous lives who now care for others.  But what I saw this particular day in Kampala, Uganda has found a forever home in my heart and mind.  The experience was a profound and seemingly paradoxical display of both good and evil.  I can never forget the brokenness of the moment, nor can I deny the unwavering hope which refused to bow down to the face of evil.

There’s an adage which says the best place to hide is often in plain sight.  In other words, find a place so simple and discoverable that others would not dare consider it a place to hide. Convince others that hidden objects are in deep dark places that send them on endless quests as they fail to look under their very own nose.  This is the strategy of a brothel on the northern side of Kampala.

Mbuya is a town on the outer northern edge of city located right off one of the major roads leading out of town.  And nestled in this high-volume traffic area lies another type of trafficking in the middle of town- human trafficking.  What appears to be a run-down building and poorly kept parking lot is the host to one of the world’s oldest and darkest professions- prostitution.  This beleaguered building comprised of over 40 “rooms” has become an open-air prison for many women believing they cannot escape.

Each room in this brothel even reflects that of a prison cell.  No more than 7’ long and 4’ wide, the rooms are nothing but concrete.  There is no door aside from a mere piece of dirty fabric strung between the entrance.  The so-called bed is yet another piece of raised concrete that attempts to keep people off the cold dark floor covered in dirt.  There are no dressers.  There are no closets.  There are no bathrooms or seating areas.  These cells are designed to simply be a place of work and sleep.  And yet for these women, the space they rent has also become their prison home.

This is how much of modern slavery works in the realm of human trafficking.  The women are not chained up to the walls.  They are not held at gun point or even told they cannot leave.  Rather, they are held captive by their own life situations and brokenness of spirit they endure every day.  For each of these women the decision to be here is not really a choice in their mind.  It’s what required for survival; for themselves and the families they support.  It is the only path they know has potential for success.  And worse, it is a path they believe has no off-ramp exit.

Encountering Darkness

When our team first entered the brothel the presence of darkness and evil was felt like a fog coming down a mountain.  But instead of a cool refreshing breeze, the stench of hot dirt and trash combined with the foul smell of stagnant water and traffic exhaust hovered over the area like smoke refusing to leave a small room.  There have only been a couple places in my life where I have felt such presence of evil and brokenness.

Since it was early afternoon, the team was able to go and meet with some of the women.  The male clients typically come later in the evening after work and the facility would look much different.  For now, the brothel resembled that of a battlefield.  The troops had just finished a night of fighting and survival and were awaiting their next barrage.  There was no time for rest or even reconfiguration.  In the ancient mythological story, Greek king Sisyphus was forced to roll a stone up a hill only to it roll back down at the top every day for the rest of his life as his punishment from the Gods.  Likewise, these women were enslaved to live a life of prostitution that repeated itself day after day.

The difference of course was these women were not here because of punishment…

We spoke with three women that day.  As we walked from the parking lot to the rooms, we came up on a group of about 20 or so women sitting outside.  Some were washing their few items of clothes in buckets while others were resting their heads against the shade covered concrete next to their rooms.  There was an odd sense of community amongst these women.  Certainly not the one they desired, but nonetheless one they created.  We continued walking to the end of this row of rooms greeting each of the ladies as we passed by.

That is where I first noticed what was so uniquely dark about this place.  The cloud of darkness covering on this bright sunny day that had enveloped this open-air prison was a combination of many things- but none so heavy as that of shame.  The women quickly knew our group was not there for “services”, and therefore a look of confusion and curiosity took over their non-verbal cues.  Our skin tone alone was confusing enough, but my guess is these women understood “mzungus” would never come into a place like this.  This group of Americans was very much out of place and perhaps concerning to the women whose world was only comprised of a very similar daily routine.

I don’t believe I held eye contact with any of the women for more than a second or two.  Much of African culture already has cultural elements of male/female disparities, but the chasm between the two sexes here were seemingly too great to ever cross.  Because despite how great culture may be at distinguishing and categorizing men and women from each other, shame’s power will always be greater.  It does not take a trained counselor to see what feeling and belief these women were experiencing.  For them, the only people who wander into a place like this are men looking to fulfill a lustful desire and do so through a simple financial transaction.  Plainly put, the women were treated as objects.  It is of no surprise then that a lifestyle of becoming a sexual transaction would cause any person to assume a new identity rotten with shame.  And this shame was methodically taking the life out of each person here.

But remember…shame has an enemy.  And no matter how layered it spreads itself upon someone, it can never become too thick to shed off.

Meeting Katherine

One of the women recognized Wilson as a man of faith who had established a ministry of presence there with the help of two other women who had been rescued out of this place.  She immediately asked for us to come into her room and pray for her.  In all honestly, I was perplexed at this idea thinking we would need to do some preliminary relational trust building first to move towards such a spiritual moment.  But something deep in her heart was longing to push through the caked layers of shame to find some hopeful glimpse of relational care.

We walked into her room and crammed ourselves in like sardines. A couple of us stood shoulder to shoulder and a couple kneeled so those behind us could see.  I could tell she was wanting to be a good host but knew this task was hard to do in such a place as this.  Her shame was taking on many forms from all angles.  In a culture that prides itself on hospitality, it was breaking her heart to not even have chairs for us to sit on.

“Why are you here?” Wilson asked.  “What has led you to have this job?” he pressed further.

There was no hesitation. These questions may seem cold in written form, but I assure you they were delivered with precise and careful compassion.  Wilson knew what inner dialogue filled the mind of these young women.  He knew what thoughts ran circles in their mind like a NASCAR race that never ended.

Her answer to this question I believe would surprise most people unfamiliar of this culture.  Prostitutes, drug-dealers, the homeless, and others alike have a reputation among the public that is ignorant of context and even more importantly- lacking compassion.  It is a much simpler approach to categorize these people by casting an unfair net of judgment which seems to encapsulate all of them as mere “poor decision makers”.  We feel our attitudes of judgment are justified because each of these people have chosen to act upon these reprehensible acts.

I do not dismiss the idea of personal choice.  It is true for all people in these arenas there is an element of choice.  However, compassion and the pursuit of relationship reveal there is more complexity to it.  And we discovered this truth in our first conversation with this young lady.  The simple but genuine question put forth allowed her to tell her story to someone who cared to hear it.

“My husband abandoned me and my children a few months back”, she replied.  Again, shame had formed another arrow against her.  The response filled the room with heaviness as we all set there reconfiguring our initial perspective of this place.  “I was left to care for our three children but had no means of earning money.  I have no education and no work experience because I have been at home for the past 5 years caring for my kids.”

As it turned out, this young woman tried many options to provide for her family but was striking out repeatedly.  She had come from a very poor community where even with help from family and friends she was not able to provide for all her children.  Try as she may her attempts became futile in her mind and the forces of shame began sinking in their dreadful claws.  What kind of woman gets abandoned by her husband?  What kind of mother cannot provide for her children?  What kind of woman cannot find any work?  Her story was revealing the brokenness of her heart as she continued to share.

“I came here because I felt there were no other options for me.  Someone I knew had told me about this place and how much money I could make.”  She continued.

This is where the lie was implanted.  For you see every good lie has a kernel of truth around it.  And like Hitler and his goons believed, “tell a lie long enough and it will become truth.”  It was true money could be made in a place like this.  In fact, enough money could be made to send back home to help care for children or other family members.  This kernel of truth was being fulfilled.  She planned with other family members and friends back home to care for her kids while she went to the city to work.  Her work as a prostitute allowed her enough money to send back home, but sadly, it was not enough for her to escape.

The owner of this property is a clever and devious man.  He knew what type of money can be made and he is aware of the situations these women come from.  In fact, the other two women we talked to shared almost the exact same story of how they got there.  Each of them was abandoned by their husbands and forced to pursue a career they never longed for.  With this knowledge the proprietor imposed a rental fee for their room that lays an invisible trap.  The women can bring in just enough revenue to send home for the children, however, they fall short of being able to use that money on themselves.  Because of their backgrounds, the women do not possess any form of higher education.  Nor are they trained in any other specialty that could get them hired at another location.   Across the street was a factory that employed what appeared to be over a hundred people.  The first lady, Katherine, told us she tried talking to the management about employment but was denied due to lack of work experience.

This is what much of 21st century slavery looks like.  It is not so much a forced entrapment by way of chains, but by way of the mind.  These modern-day human traffickers are not limited to control by way of the gun or force, but by preying on the vulnerable.  They promise a way of escape an opportunity disguised under the veil of sheer manipulation and evil.   This is not to dismiss or deny the reality of traditional slavery which still occurs in our world.  Sadly, we know this is happening around as thousands, if not millions, are forced to work as sex slaves, manual laborers, and drug peddlers.  Nonetheless, as times have changed so have the approaches people use to control others for their own benefit.

Back to our conversation.  As Katherine continued her story and why she was there I noticed a dark presence filling the room and starting to press down on her.  The narrative she was sharing was heavy enough, but there was something else at work.  The more she shared, the more life I saw being sucked out of her.  Beyond just the circumstances of her life weighing down upon her, this new invisible force was seemingly worse.  When we began the conversation, she was unable to maintain eye contact with us.  As time went on, her head began to lower and her shoulder slouch until she was almost completely bent over as she sat on her bed.  As dramatic as it sounds, it was like the dementors in Harry Potter sucking the very existence of someone.  The slouch eventually led to tears and inability to talk in complete and coherent sentences.

We continued trying to talk with her and provide encouragement.  Wilson then asked her the question which changed my whole understanding of what was happening.

“Does your family know what you are doing here?” he asked.

The slouched over and crying young women instantly paused her tears and breathing.  The question was different from all the other ones.  It found a way to get down to the deepest part of her heart and mind and pierce her most sensitive area.  After a few seconds she managed to respond by shaking her head.

“No,” she said with heaviness.

This answer was different from the other responses she gave us.  It was cold and lifeless.  It was weighted and saddening.  It was also the most telling.  For at that moment, it dawned on me what the heavy presence.

Shame.  The dark and twisted tool used by our enemy to turn us against God was in full force in that tiny concrete room.  It took over every available space like a gas filling a container.  The room did not need a door because shame itself had created a boundary that circled all of us in the room like a military unit about to attack a target.  And the target was this young woman.

As stated in the opening thoughts of this story, shame is extremely evil and powerful. It appears to be sin’s greatest ally and weapon used to separate people from knowing their true identity and freedom found in Jesus.  And on this day in Kampala, I’ve never seen such display of it in my entire life.  The enemy brought out the entire barrage of shame’s arsenal against this woman.  Her life had been marred by the departure of her husband and the uncertainty of raising her kids alone.  These were the battles she was aware of.

Unfortunately, the war we are engaged in is not against flesh and blood enemies.  Rather we fight against the “evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.” (Eph 6:12)

Shame attacks everyone all around the world.  No person is immune to its grasping claws which inject us with the poison of lies.  That being said, shame does have an even more unique understanding in the east.  The western world focuses more on guilt and justification where control is maintained by reinforcing guilt and the expectation of punishment.  Africa and most of the world, however, center life more around shame.  Shame societies utilize control through the inclusion of shame and the complementary threat of being ostracized by others-especially family members.   

This is why Katherine could not even lift her head.  Any person in her situation would feel shame to some degree.  But in a culture where the value of shame supersedes most other values, it was no surprise she felt the weigh even more.  If the family ever found out her work as a prostitute, she would be cast out forever.  She would never see her children again.  She would never be able to reconnect with her family and friends to enjoy some fresh Ugandan tea and afternoon snacks as they watched their kids play together.  No number of good deeds or even punishment would be able to remove the stained image she had put upon herself and her community.  Her only hope in life is she could somehow make enough money to escape this reality and return home with her community none the wiser… at least this is what she believed…

A New Combatant Enters

I think our entire group was picking up on what demons this woman was fighting.  She continued sharing phrases laced with shame.

“I don’t think God could ever love me.”

“How could God ever forgive me for doing this”

“I am a terrible mother for doing this to my kids”

The shame riddled self-accusations continued to pile on.  The dark cloud in the room was now forming arrows and aiming all efforts to go and attack her.  It was time for a full-on blitzkrieg, and I think I know why…Because at that moment the enemy knew what we were going to attempt.  For you see, shame has an enemy.

The three of us in the room at that moment got down on our knees so we could get on her level and regain the eye contact she was so desperately trying to avoid.  It was of no mistake God intended us to be there, and it equally clear what we needed to do.  Money was not going to solve this problem.  A new job was not going to solve this problem.  Shame is not swayed by such things.  Like kryptonite to Superman, there is only one weapon capable of taking on the ferocious beast of sin and deceitful friend named shame.

Grace.

Now that’s a word much easier to say.  Whereas shame has an instant weight to it, grace brings forth liberation.  Grace is the fearless soldier able to stare down the barrel of shame’s gun and not even blink.  In fact, it dares shame to throw anything it can at it for grace knows its superiority.  Shame tries to prevent any inkling of grace to come inside the mind of a person for it knows even the slightest amount can begin filling a person with hope.

Katherine was full and shame and void of grace.  Her identity as a beloved and beautiful daughter of the holy God was pushed down to the very deepest part of her soul to be hidden from her.  Her identity may have been tarnished and hijacked, but it was not stolen.  Despite all the layers of sin and shame which had been placed upon her it would never be able to completely extinguish the light God had placed in her since her very inception in her mother’s womb.  To get down to the hidden place deep in her heart and mind would require the only drill capable of penetrating such dense material.

For the next 15 minutes we sought to reconnect Katherine with the truth of scripture.  We knew we could never fix all the circumstances of her life, nor did we believe this is what God needed us to do.  Our purpose was clear- speak the truth of God’s grace in her life.  In her mind, the solution was to save up enough money and get out of this God-forsaken place.  And though this of course was an understandable and necessary action- it was not the first step.  These adjustments would not be able to attack the greater enemy of shame.  Even if she did get out of the brothel and found another job, shame would weasel itself in again and take over.

We took shame on directly sharing everything we could about how God views her.  We told her about how Jesus took away all sin and shame by dying on the cross.  We spoke on how no amount of sin in her life could ever separate her from the love of God.  We assured her that nothing is impossible with God- including her own redemption and reconciliation with her family.  We dismissed any notion that she is incapable of forgiveness or love.

The more we challenged the more we could see shame readjusting it tactics.  At times she would challenge and at other times she seemed confused.  Regardless, we started to see her question the lies she had believed for so long.  The “imago dei” inside her was starting to brighten and dispel the darkness.  There was just one more truth that needed to be revealed.

Throughout all the comments and encouragement we offered, we eventually came to the Gospel itself.  This is the one and only weapon capable of correcting the entire notion of sin and shame. And it was time to offer.  Sin has shame, but grace has the gospel.

The Light Breaks Through

“Would you want to pursue a relationship with Jesus today?” we asked her.

“Yes”, she said as her head started to slowly rise and regain contact with her tear filled eyes.  We met her with a smile and holding of hands.

Some things in life are too difficult to explain in written or oral word.   I cannot fully encapsulate or express what happened in that moment.  All I can say is it was beautiful.  The darkness of shame currently filling this tiny room was immediately dispelled.  It was if all the walls came crumbling down and God forced out every remaining ounce of shame causing it to tuck its tail and run.

We concluded our time with this amazing woman in prayer asking God to forgive her sins and provide a way out.  We asked him to remove all shame so she would no longer be bound to the invisible chains.  And we reminded her she is a part of a family forever that will include us as brothers and sisters in Christ.

The sad reality remains that she is most likely still in this place.  I pray I am wrong or at least will soon be.  To follow and trust Jesus does not mean life takes an instant U-turn causing every bad thing in life to dissipate.  In fact, Jesus promises that we will have struggles.  Furthermore, Katherine will have to continue taking leaps of faith to trust Jesus and repent from sin.  Discipleship is a journey tossed into a path littered with all sorts of challenges.  Shame may have left that room, but it still sits on the edge looking for another trojan horse opportunity to creep back in.

The promise, however, is the love of God.  The love that will never leave or forsake us.  The love which is greater than all sin and more powerful than the enemy at work in the shadows of our lives.  And the love which can reveal the greatest truth in life… that we are created in the image of God to have a relationship with him for all eternity.  Not even shame can defeat that.

To that end, let me close with the famous words from Isaiah 54:

“Do not fear, for you will not be ashamed; Neither be disgraced, for you will not be put to shame;
For you will forget the shame of your youth and will not remember the reproach of your widowhood anymore.

5 For your Maker is your husband, The Lord of hosts is His name; And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel; He is called the God of the whole earth. 6 For the Lord has called you like a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit, like a youthful wife when you were refused, “says your God.

7 “For a mere moment I have forsaken you, but with great mercies I will gather you. 8 With a little wrath I hid My face from you for a moment; but with everlasting kindness I will have mercy on you,”
Says the Lord, your Redeemer.

9 “For this is like the waters of Noah to Me; for as I have sworn that the waters of Noah would no longer cover the earth, so have I sworn that I would not be angry with you, nor rebuke you. 10 For the mountains shall depart and the hills be removed, but my kindness shall not depart from you, Nor shall my covenant of peace be removed,” Says the Lord, who has mercy on you.

11 “O you afflicted one, tossed with tempest, and not comforted, Behold, I will lay your stones with colorful gems, and lay your foundations with sapphires. 12 I will make your pinnacles of rubies, Your gates of crystal, And all your walls of precious stones.

13 All your children shall be taught by the Lord, and great shall be the peace of your children. 14 In righteousness you shall be established; You shall be far from oppression, for you shall not fear; and from terror, for it shall not come near you.

15 Indeed they shall surely assemble, but not because of me. Whoever assembles against you shall fall for your sake. 16 “Behold, I have created the blacksmith who blows the coals in the fire, who brings forth an [a]instrument for his work; And I have created the [b]spoiler to destroy.

17 No weapon formed against you shall prosper, And every tongue which rises against you in judgment You shall condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is from Me,” Says the Lord.

A Simple Thank You

Thank you, Katherine, for letting us all into your life.  I pray I see you again in life, but if not, I look forward to seeing my new sister in Christ in his presence.

About the Author

Travis Janousek is the serve pastor at new city church in Charlotte, NC where he helps lead all of the local and global engagements.  He has been partnering with All Nations since 2021 through the Hamburg and Kampala Hubs.

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