Why are you so fearful?

On the same day, when evening had come, He said to them, “Let us cross over to the other side.” Now when they had left the multitude, they took Him along in the boat as He was. And other little boats were also with Him. And a great windstorm arose, and the waves beat into the boat, so that it was already filling. But He was in the stern, asleep on a pillow. And they awoke Him and said to Him, “Teacher, do You not care that we are perishing?” Then He arose and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, “Peace, be still!” And the wind ceased and there was a great calm. But He said to them, “Why are you so fearful? How is it that you have no faith?” And they feared exceedingly, and said to one another, “Who can this be, that even the wind and the sea obey Him!”
Mark 4:35-41 NKJV

In the above verses the disciples are facing a storm to the point that water is filling the boat; while all this is happening Jesus is in the boat sleeping. I have only been on a boat, I believe, two times in my life, so this experience of the disciples facing the storm is foreign to me. However, Hollywood has painted a good picture of storms that help conceptualize what a storm does, concluding water is dangerous, so be afraid.

So the disciples' reaction makes sense: panic, worry, fear for their lives and while all this is happening Jesus is sleeping in the same vessel. In this story Jesus is not far away or walking on water, he is with them in the same vessel. This means if the vessel sinks he too is going down.

I have been thinking about this sleeping Jesus, how could he manage to sleep at such a time? What did he know that the disciples didn’t know? Was he tired and thus in a deep sleep? Why was he not panicking? Who sleeps when their “bed” is about to drown?

And then I think about the disciples. What was happening as they saw the storm rage? When did they notice Jesus sleeping? What did they tell themselves when they realized he was actually asleep in what would be deemed a life-threatening moment? In what ways am I similar to the disciples?

Eventually we see the disciples waking Jesus up and asking him if he cares that they are about to perish. Jesus wakes up and says to the wind and the sea, “Peace, be still.” As much as he told this to the wind and the sea, I believe this was also told to the disciples through his questions, “Why are you so fearful? How is it that you have no faith?”

Would he be asking you and I the same? Why are you so fearful? How is it that you have no faith? Well, I don’t know about you, but I definitely know I have had to look in the mirror as reflected by this verse; and honestly I wish I could say I aced it because the reality is I panicked badly. So badly that I forgot that Jesus is Emmanuel, “God with us”. He is in my every moment, episode and life experience. As he was in the same vessel with the disciples, he is with me in every moment of my life.

The storm I was in defamed my character. I was accused of being something that I am not and also various people got to learn of this accusation. The first time I heard of this accusation I laughed out loud so hard because it was ridiculous; however, another person asked me about it and I said it is not true. Then another person asked me if it’s true, and I said it wasn’t true, however the humor was gone and anger took its place, along with doubt in myself, my work. Then confusion and paralysis happened: should I continue working, should I stop, who should I tell about this, how do I clear my name? So as the emotional storm I was in kept raging, my heart got heavier. I wanted to scream, but I thought, if I scream I might break a vein. Thus I began crying. Although I didn’t know what was causing my tears, I knew that crying helped relieve the pressure in my heart.

Praying was very difficult and all I could hear was Jesus telling me to be still. Sadly I didn’t manage to be still at first but after some weeks I was able to be still. My mind stopped running from place to place, I had clarity and great awareness of when Paul writes that all things work together for good, because in the midst of the accusation I saw good. I saw gaps that I may never have seen if I didn’t face this storm. I was able to communicate that to some people and something is being done to fix some of my confusion. I confessed my sins and I forgave those who hurt me. Mostly the body of Christ in my circle stood by me and encouraged me.

And, yes, definitely Jesus was with me in this storm and will forever continue to be.

Yet as I look into the future I believe Jesus’s words. Why are you so fearful? How is it that you have no faith? Allow me to keep gazing upon him and moving forward. I hope and pray that the lessons learned will not go to waste and that when I face another storm I will know Jesus’s peace and thus be still. He is with me in the storm and though I may perceive him to be sleeping, I can trust that he is able to calm any storm that I may face.

Read Psalms 93 and Mark 4:35-41
Are you facing any storms? How are you handling the storm? Do you know Jesus is with you in the storm
Reach out to someone for prayers of encouragement
Encourage someone in their walk

About the author: Ruth is passionate about helping facilitate healing for people lost in addiction. Through discipleship and counseling, she has seen many individuals in Kenya and elsewhere in the world find freedom in Christ. She is an All Nations field worker based in Nairobi, Kenya under the Kampala hub.
Ruth’s testament of Jesus’s victory in her own journey of healing from addiction can be viewed and purchased at https://amzn.to/2YF9ci0.

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